QUESTIONS

Are Men Hardwired to Cheat?

Are Men Hardwired to Cheat?

Boy oh boy. If there’s one topic none of us want to think about, it’s whether or not our partner is cheating on us. But according to one study, there’s around a 42 percent chance of it happening.

Believe it or not, it’s not just men who are doing it either. From another study, while 55 percent of the men who were surveyed admitted to being unfaithful with no less than five individuals (ouch), 50 percent of women also admitted to cheating with at least one person.

And just why do so many people cheat? That’s a loaded question, but if this same study is any indication, 23 percent of men said they were unfaithful due to a lack of sexual satisfaction while 28 percent of women said it was because they felt emotionally disconnected from their partner.

It’s important to start off answering this kind of question this way because while the general perception might be that men are the only ones who cheat and/or if women cheat, it’s rare, that actually couldn’t be further from the truth. Cheating is an “equal opportunity” bad habit.

But since you asked about if men are hardwired to cheat and why men cheat specifically, let’s delve into that a bit more.

Are Men Hardwired to Cheat?

Really. Why Do Men Cheat?

If you were to gather 20 therapists together to share a few reasons why men cheat, we doubt they all would come up with the same answers. Some men cheat because they saw one of their parents cheat while growing up (we sometimes do what was modeled to us). Some men cheat because they have poor coping mechanisms when it comes to dealing with stress. Other men cheat because they are insecure or extremely narcissistic.

There are also men who cheat because they have unrealistic expectations in their relationship (both in and out of the bedroom) or they are too immature to be in a committed relationship. Then there are men who cheat because they have insatiable sex drives, they’re selfish or they are commitment-phobes. Others cheat because they are in a sexless marriage (which means they have sex 10 or fewer times a year). And gee, this is just hitting the tip of the iceberg.

While all the answers that we provided are different, if you look beneath the surface, there is one thing they have in common—the reasons why men cheat are not physical so much as they are psychological or emotional. This blows the stereotype that “men cheat simply because men are dogs” totally out of the water. It also means that sometimes sex is a symptom of a bigger issue; that their cheating is not the root problem (this is especially the case if you find yourself asking “Why do men cheat on their wives?”).

Are Men Hardwired to Cheat?

Not ALL Men Cheat

Does this give men who cheat a pass? No. Cheating is wrong. A point, blank and period. It’s wrong because it’s dishonest and, in this day and age of STDs being on the rise, cheating is also dangerous. At the same time, there’s something else to consider. According to the study we shared earlier, if 55 percent of men have cheated, there are 45 who haven’t. This means that it’s not automatic that if someone has a penis, they will cheat at some point.

As for the 55 percent of men who do? It looks to us like men don’t cheat just because they’re looking for something to do on a Saturday night. In many cases, they cheat because either something is wrong within themselves or something is awry within the relationship. By figuring out what that “thing” is, it is quite possible that healing can begin and that the cheating will stop.

So, are men hardwired to cheat? No. And for guys who cheat, is it possible for them to stop?

And here’s the irony—If we all—men and women alike—quit looking past men’s “little head” and pay attention to what’s really going on inside of their bigger one, we’d probably find the solution to male infidelity. One that has very little to do with sex.