When it comes to sexual performance and pleasure, we all have our preferences. Take dirty talking, for example. There are some who can’t imagine having a good romp without saying and hearing some NSFW (Not Safe for Work) words. Then there are those who are absolutely mortified at the thought of speaking or listening to dirty talk, in any context.
If you fall into the second category, hopefully, by the end of this semi-short read, we’ll be able to at least convince you to give it a try. Because, believe it or not, there is solid scientific evidence to support dirty talk, and that it can do wonders for your sex life!
The Science Behind Dirty Sex Talk
You’ve probably heard somewhere that the biggest sex organ is the brain and that is exactly right! That’s why dirty talk before or during sex has the ability to boost one’s libido, increase stamina and even intensify one’s orgasms. When the mind gets excited, it’s a given that the body will follow.
This doesn’t only include saying certain words but also moaning and screaming during sex along with sharing sexual fantasies outside of the bedroom. All of this plays a significant role in “triggering” the erogenous zone that’s called “the mind”.
How to ‘Talk Dirty’
Now that we’ve (hopefully) piqued your interest, how can you get out of the sheer awkwardness of usually being silent during sex to becoming a dirty sex talker?
We’ve got a few tips.
Say what you want to hear
Something that makes dirty talk particularly fascinating is not only can your partner turn you on by doing it, oftentimes you can turn yourself on by saying certain things. So, if you’re new to the whole dirty talking thing, start off by thinking about all of the things you’d want to hear your partner say before and during the act of lovemaking.
Then say them.
Only, try and do it in a different tone of voice like maybe a low whisper or in a deeper octave. A tone that conveys “I’m reserving this for bedroom action only.”
Ask her how it feels; ask him what he needs
As you get more comfortable in this lane, start asking your partner questions. If it’s a woman, ask her how certain touches, kisses and positions feel. If it’s a man, ask him what he needs you to do. When you start hearing “that feels amazing” or him saying “move your hips slower” and their own moans and groans let you know you’re a good listener (wink) that will only turn the both of you on more — and make you want to say more too.
Think ‘sex’ NOT ‘porn’
Let’s just say that one of the biggest mistakes that people make (more men than women, we might add) is watching porn and then trying to translate that into the bedroom. Spitting on your partner, ramming them like you’re a jackrabbit or something else, 8 times out of 10 isn’t seen as being “sexy” so much as being degrading.
Another tip? If you know that your partner loathes porn, that’s just one more reason to NOT use it to teach you dirty talking lines.
Pay close attention to the timing of responses
When in the process of trying to become a dirty sex talk master, timing really is everything. What we mean by that is you don’t want to be so focused on what’s coming out of your mouth that you’re not paying attention to how your partner is responding to it. If you say something and there’s radio silence, that’s usually not a good indication that it’s working for you.
On the other hand, if you put a few well-placed words in just as your partner is about to climax, they just might applaud you once everything is done.
Don’t think too hard
Even with the tips that we just provided you for how to talk dirty in bed (or anywhere else you plan on having sex), there’s one that is by far the most important—don’t overthink it.
Come to think about it, this applies across the board. Stay in the moment, focus on what feels good and then “speak” on that. If you do that, you’ll be great at dirty talk sooner than you think!