We all enjoy thinking about it, talking about it, and, most of all, having it.
However, many people still don’t understand the different kinds of sex they can explore with their partner, how it may enhance their love life and ways to safely enjoy it. To give you a better idea of the basics, we are going to focus on them.
This is the most typical among heterosexual couples. While some who are more adventurous in their sex lives might find penis-in-vagina intercourse to be boring, this classic still has a lot of advantages. For one, when a woman is sufficiently excited, her vagina will naturally lubricate to make penetration much easier and enjoyable. Further, the vagina naturally stretches to accommodate the size of her partner’s penis. Plus, while the vagina is forward-tipped, it’s overall position on the body allows for a variety of creative positions.
Virtually all of the major sexually transmitted diseases can be passed through unprotected penis-in-vagina intercourse. While rates of transmission vary by infection, women are particularly vulnerable to contracting a disease. However, condoms, when used correctly, are highly effective at preventing the transmission of most sexual diseases.
Unlike most other forms of sex, the other significant risk associated with unprotected vaginal sex is pregnancy. Furthermore, some of these infections, like HIV and syphilis, can be passed on to the child as well. Fortunately, there are myriad forms of contraceptives for women and even a few that men can use.
Once considered to be the absolute taboo, anal sex is now considered to be a fun alternative to traditional sex. Although it requires a bit of a “warm-up” to allow for comfortable penetration, the sensation of anal sex in some ways is even more intense and pleasurable compared to vaginal sex. Further, since it requires additional preparation time to be enjoyable and safe, this form of sex can be particularly intimate. Consequently, anal intercourse has become increasingly common in both homosexual and heterosexual couples.
As previously stated, anal intercourse typically requires the receptive participant to be sufficiently prepared by dilating the anus a little before being penetrated by a penis. This can be done by relaxing and opening up the anus with a tongue, finger, or a small- to moderately-sized dildo. To prevent fecal contamination, we recommend defecating before sex and clearing out the rest of the rectum with an enema or anal douche.
Furthermore, since the rectum doesn’t release any form of natural lubricant, you should use some kind of silicon-based lubricant to reduce friction without tearing a condom.
Like vaginal intercourse, anal sex can facilitate the spread of sexual diseases, most notably HIV. However, when condoms are used, and enough lube is sufficiently used to prevent tearing, the risk of disease spreading can be markedly reduced.
This type of sex can be subdivided into three categories:
- Cunnilingus – oral sex involving contact with the mouth and the vagina, the clitoris and generally around the vulva.
- Fellatio – the act of performing oral sex on a man’s penis.
- Anilingus – the act of performing oral sex on or in the anus.
Since there’s no risk of pregnancy and the spread of STIs is lower – though not non-existent – oral sex can be a fun, liberating form of sexual play. While oral sex often involves a giving partner gratifying the other partner without being immediately reciprocated, the sensation of pleasing the other person can still be immensely satisfying for the giving partner. Of course, performing oral sex on each other at the same time (commonly called 69ing) allows both partners to be orally pleased simultaneously.
Of all of the forms of sex, oral sex is relatively safe, though there are a few unique risks. One of the most significant risks associated with oral sex is the transmission of a herpes cold sore (HSV-1) from the giving partner’s mouth to the penetrative partner’s genitals causing genital herpes.
To mitigate this risk, understand your partner’s disease status. If they have an infection such as herpes, understand when they have outbreaks, start a regimen of medication to treat or cure the infection and use additional protection such as condoms if necessary.
Genital-genital Rubbing, Tribadism and Frottage
While genital-genital rubbing sex can include rubbing other parts of the body, such as the breasts or buttocks, when two women engage in tribadism, they typically press their vulva’s together, getting a great deal of sexual stimulation from their erect clitorises.
Derived from the French word meaning ‘to rub,’ frottage involves two men rubbing their penises together, often assisted by one of the men’s hand, until climax. A variation of this is where one man inserts his penis between his partner’s thighs until orgasm, also called intercrural sex.
While genital-genital sex is common in homosexuals, this act can even be done by a man and woman as well, wherein the man rubs his erect penis against the woman’s vulva without any penetration.
Generally speaking, non-penetrative sex is one of the safest forms of intimacy possible. There’s no risk of tearing any sensitive tissue and, since there is either limited or no exchange of fluids from the genitals, the chance of contracting almost all sexual disease is unlikely. The significant exception to this is exposure to genital warts, crabs, and herpes, however.
Further, lesbian couples are particularly prone to transmitting trichomoniasis or other diseases when menstruating. So, understanding your partner’s disease status and general health is important.
Referring to women and men who engage in non-penetrative sex, since the man’s semen can leak into the vagina, there is still a risk of pregnancy. For this reason, we recommend the woman be on birth control or the man use a condom.